I am not making a difference.
These are the words that I uttered as I considered my future.
I was two years out of college, working outside of my degree field, when I decided to become a teacher.
While pondering my future path as an educator, I just knew that I would never utter those words again.
I am not making a difference.
The words formed and were spoken even though I didn’t want to say them.
I was sitting at my desk after a particularly tough day in my first year of teaching.
I was struggling to manage the class, and felt I was doing more harm than good.
I vowed not to say the words again.
I am not making a difference.
Here I was again repeating those words.
I sat in my office staring out the window.
Same feeling as when I was in the classroom.
I felt like I was saying the same things to the same students over and over again.
No conversation felt like it mattered.
I am not making a difference.
Students would come and go.
After a rough week, I felt like not a single word was heard.
And so as I said the words again, I knew I needed to alter them.
It may not seem like I am making a difference.
But I am.
Every word matters.
And each time I share words with a student, it IS making a difference.
Whether I realize it or not,
I am not making a difference.
Rich (@RACzyz)